MOCCASINS

with the honorarium

from my first published poems

I bought a pair of moccasins

in the Fredericton farmer’s market

ordered exactly what I wanted:

soft deerskin leather, ankle high,

a rubber sole for walking,

and beads (men’s moccasins

ordinarily didn’t have beads)

they fit like a word

that gives you goose-bumps

I only wore them when I wrote poems

or thought about writing poems

or felt like a poem

the rubber heel was replaced a few times,

they were sewed a few times,

the leather lace was replaced a few times,

some of the beads fell off

after a decade I only wore them

once or twice a year,

storing the poetry in my blood

like a winter stone in November sun

so she knew what she was doing

when she slashed them

with an X-acto knife

and left them in the closet

where I would find them

after she was gone